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Ex-University of Texas student Farhan Towhid writes 12-page letter on Google Docs, posts link on Instagram

Former University of Texas at Austin student Farhan Towhid was found dead in Allen, Collin County, Texas, United States. He was 19.

At around 1:00 a.m. on April 5, 2021, Allen Police Department officers found Towhid and his twin sister Farbin Towhid along with their brother Tanvir Towhid, 21, their father Towhidul Islam, 54, their mother Iren Islam, 56, and their grandmother Altafun Nessa, 77, dead in their house in Allen on April 5, 2021. They all died from gunshot wounds.

The family was originally from Bangladesh. They have relatives in Florida, USA.

Before committing suicide, Farhan wrote a 12-page letter on Google Docs. He posted the link to his Instagram account, which has been deactivated.

“Hey everyone,” the letter started. “I killed myself and my family.”

In the letter, Farhan revealed that he and Tanvir suffered from depression. The younger brother wrote, “Allow me to explain.”

“Anyone who knew me knew that I operate on pure logic,” Farhan continued. “Every decision I make is based on a pros-cons list, including the one to kill my family.”

 

“The Office”

Based on the letter, Farhan and Tanvir were fans of the mockumentary sitcom television series “The Office,” which aired on NBC from March 24, 2005 to May 16, 2013. Farhan referred to it as the first and most important show they watched and one of the “four very important issues” he encountered throughout his life.

It appears that Farhan connected with the character named Andrew Baines “Andy” Bernard. For Farhan, Ed Helms‘ character got “the worst ending of the group” as “nobody backs him up” when he loses his job.

The Bangladeshi teenager wrote that the character “had anger management issues and he was a god damn sycophant but grew into someone really caring and genuine.” For him, “The Office” should have ended when Steve Carell‘s character Michael Scott left because it eventually “went s**t.”

“We kept watching until February 21, 2021,” Farhan wrote. “That’s the day my older brother came into my room with a proposition: if we can’t fix everything in a year, we’ll kill ourselves and our family.”

From one year, the brothers changed the waiting time to one month. He also mentioned in the letter that he had “a lot more” to say “but hey, life is short.”

“We eventually realized we were just biding our time,” Farhan wrote. “Waiting a year was way too long. Why not wait a month?”

 

Gun control in the U.S.

“The plan was simple,” Farhan wrote. “We get two guns. I take one and shoot my sister and grandma, while my brother kills our parents with the other. Then we take ourselves out.”

On the afternoon of March 29, 2021, the Allen Police Department confirmed that Tanvir was able to legally purchase a gun recently. Farhan wrote that it was very easy for his brother to purchase the gun and gun control measures in the U.S. is a joke.

“I would say the only hard part of the plan was getting the guns, but that would be a lie,” Farhan explained. “All my brother had to do was go to the gunshop, say something about wanting a gun for home defense, sign some forms, and that was it. There was a question asking if he had any mental illnesses but—get this—he lied. He literally just said no. They didn’t ask for proof or if he was taking any medication (he was). Thanks for making the process so easy.”

 

Depression

“No matter what I do, I just can’t be happy,” Farhan confessed. In January 2021, he withdrew from the University of Texas at Austin where he studied computer science and cited depression as the reason why he was forced to drop out.

“I’ve had depression since 9th grade (2016),” Farhan wrote. “Not the ‘damn, I failed my test’ depression everyone says they have, more like a ‘I only cut myself twice today, that’s better than usual.’”

Apparently, Farhan did tell his father about his condition. He also revealed that he was medicated with desvenlafaxine, serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor (SNRI) used to treat depression.

“Once I told my Dad he worked his ass off trying to help,” Farhan narrated. “Eventually I was thrown in some teen mental health camp where I was finally diagnosed and got medication (25mg of desvenlafaxine if you’re curious) which seemed to help. They also gave me coping mechanisms.”

On the other hand, Farhan acknowledged that Tanvir’s condition “was much worse” than his. Referring to his older brother, Farhan wrote, “The dude is a f***ing genius but is too depressed and socially anxious to do anything with it.”

 

“Not selfish enough, however,” Farhan said about the decision to commit suicide. “There’s my family: the one reason I forced myself to live for 19 years. I know I said I operate on logic, but the one emotional aspect of my life is the only reason I’m here. I love my family. I genuinely do. And that’s exactly why I decided to kill them.”

“If I killed just myself, they would be miserable,” Farhan continued. “They would spend the rest of their lives feeling guilt, despair, and a multitude of other adjectives that mean sad. Even after they got over it, it would’ve become a permanent facet of their lives (i.e. someone I love killed themselves and I couldn’t do anything about it). Instead of having to deal with the aftermath of my suicide, I could just do them a favor and take them with me. None of us would ever have to feel sad ever again.”

Somewhere in the letter, Farhan said he was looking for less successful campaigns to donate to on GoFundMe. However, the website keeps promoting the top-earning causes.

If you or someone you know is suicidal, call 911 or (800) 273-8255. These are for readers in the United States. For emergency numbers in other countries, go to Open Counseling.

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